Fourteen years ago today I lost the love of my life, my best friend and the woman who loved me the most in this world. You would think that after fourteen years of dealing with her physical absence things should be getting easier and easier to handle. Not so. The more time moves on with her living in eternity while I'm stuck here in time without her, the harder it becomes to deal with; if for no other reason than simply wondering what my life would be like if she were still here.
Losing her changed my life. It made me wise and it gave me a strength I never knew I could possess. That brings me to what I want to share with you who are reading this today. What if everything that happened to or around in you in your life was designed to make you better??
I had a conversation with my younger brother Martin yesterday and we were talking about dealing with loneliness and how challenging it is for us to accept that emotion as a means for growth. After buidling him and celebrating him for the ground he has covered in relentlessly pursuing his dreams, he told me that I see things in him that he doesn't see himself. My response to him was that I spend more time looking at and paying attention to what's beneath the surface as opposed to what most others spend time focusing on which is the surface itself.
I told him how my tendency to do that makes me somewhat of an outcast because most times, most people simply want to enjoy the company of their friends without feeling challenged, even if it carries with it the potential to make them better. Herein lies my own reasoning for why my friends, close and distant are generally not always "thrilled" to have me around and is also probably why I often don't get invited to the more relaxed social gatherings that they have. This doesn't upset me, it just shows me who I am. It also makes me accept the fact that who I am and how I see is necessary for where I'm going. That doesn't necessarily mean that I have to push my friends away because we're not going to the same destination but it does mean that I have to understand and accept that where I'm going, they might not be able to come. My process is taking me to my destiny. Relationships along the way are only benefits to the journey not the substance of it.
Anyway, I went on to share with him that there comes a time in all of our lives where we desperately need the substance of understanding. Because I am the friend that I seek, it would be hypocritical of me to not study, learn, listen and pay attention to my friends, their language, their situations and circumstances and not be a resource to providing them with said understanding as it becomes necessary and feasible to share with them. More importantly, having a direct relationship with God provides me with even further access to understanding because in my prayer time, God shows me myself first and then He shows me my friends as extensions and/or representations of me and in so doing, causes me to see things in/about them that can help them grow and become better human beings.
When I was a kid and first began developing a relationship with Jesus Christ, I asked Him to help me to grow to be the BEST possible man I can be. Reflecting on my life today, I can't help but see that everything that has happened throughout my life has been directly correlated with that prayer. Specifically, losing my mom as a very young boy placed me in a pursuit to find Truth, Love understanding and wisdom all of which I am continuing to find as I live.
The question that remains is: would I be who I am if I never lost her?? The answer is a clear and concise NO. Losing her was designed by God to make me BETTER and more productive as a human being.
What is it that you're facing that is by no means pleasurable to you or the atmosphere around you?? Could it be that this situation is designed to build you and make you better?? Or do you think that life has just by happenstance dealt you a bad hand??
NOTHING happens by chance. There are no accidents. Take a deeper look into what's happening IN you as a result of what's going on AROUND you and change your perspective from focusing outward to focusing inward. Everything you are facing is designed JUST for YOU. Accept it.
When you know better, you do better. When you do better, you can BE better.
Love and Peace.
