Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Excerpt #2 from "A Story and a Song"

Why Me?

    I’m an honest person.  I’ve learned how to be honest with myself which has helped me be honest with the people around me.  I have learned how to listen and in doing so have learned how to take criticism and chastisement very well.  In spite of being very hard on myself as I am, I have learned and am yet learning to make mistakes, fix them and keep it moving.  That’s hard for me because I despise making mistakes, especially simple ones that are easily avoidable with the “common” sense of paying attention.  The learning of these principles have helped me to live a little better than I would have, had I not learned them; but trust me, the process associated with said learning was by no means easy. 

          As a child, my perspective on everything was extremely limited and confined to me: in how I felt, and how this or that affected MY emotions and what wasn’t done for ME, etc.  I was pretty selfish, but what child isn‘t?  Not to make an excuse for being a particular way but understand: unless a child is taught to consider others outside of themselves, more often than not, the child will be selfish.  And you know, I’ve learned something great about the significance of raising children.  From conception, an embryo begins a never ending process of development.  At birth, the child knows absolutely nothing but its brain begins to process that which it sees through the window of the eyes.  After reaching a certain point in early childhood development, the brain becomes like a concentrated sponge, soaking up all the information it sees and retaining it to be used in some capacity later on.  

          As the child processes all the way to adulthood, he/she is subject to the information presented to him/her throughout the course of their development.  For example, a teenager does in fact, have a mind of his/her own, nonetheless, their thought process is only accountable to what they have seen or experienced up until the point of where they are and the age they are.  Let’s take for instance the skill of driving: it is not mandatory that a child knows how to drive. Children are not qualified to drive as a result of their age.  However, when they become of age, even though they may have spent a lot of time riding in a car, driving it must be taught to them by someone who is skilled in the area.  Prior to the age of accountability in driving, the “know- how” was irrelevant because it is not something that was required of them.  Nor should it be expected that you can just throw a teen in a car by him/herself and expect them to know what they’re doing.

          What am I saying?  When you consider the matriculation of life, from prenatal stages all the way to death, information is always being presented at the time it is most necessary and in some cases, before it is necessary.  I do understand that children today are facing things that some adults never had to face due to the context of each situation.  Nonetheless, as long as there is breath in your body, there is something you do not know, which means that everyone always has the capacity to learn and should humble themselves to learning what is necessary for where they are and/or where they are going. Herein also lies the significance of time and timing (which we’ll discuss a little later).



           This is why it is utterly important that parents be extremely careful and sensitive to the things they allow their children to see and/or experience because the learning associated with what they see, at the time they see it will affect them for the rest of their lives.  I do understand that some situations are beyond our control, but it seems as though parents are no longer taking much responsibility for what they allow their children to experience.  I mean no disrespect and no harm to anyone’s style of parenting and no, I do not have children. I do however, pay attention to the behavior and relations of parents with their children.  I also take the time to listen to the children with whom I interact on a regular basis.  If you ever want to win a child over, show them that you genuinely care for them AND listen to them.  All I’m suggesting is for parents to be careful of the things they allow their children to encounter because it shapes their personality and behavior for the rest of their lives.  The mind of a child is no home for irrelevant information.

          The relevance of the aforementioned to me is this, the majority of the information with which I have been presented up until this very point as a twenty- three year old man has been beyond my age.  As a child (and I’ll get into this a little bit more later), by way of circumstances I was forced to learn things that I believe no child should have to learn as such.  What ended up making me as opposed to breaking me, was the fact that I had spiritual guidance via a relationship with God that ushered me to where I am today.  My heart goes out to individuals, children and adults alike, who don’t have said guidance and lash out in ways that they CAN control for the lack of not being able to get a handle on the information presented to them that is beyond their place of understanding.  How they digest this information can propel them to success or deem them to destruction.

          In my case, the largest piece of information presented to my fragile mind that shaped my entire life took place on August 1, 1997 at 10:17a.m.  It is the morning that my best friend; my mother traded her life on this earth for a better one in heaven.  For a child, ANY child, this information plus the lack of understanding without any type of spiritual guidance or means to an understanding can be detrimental to their existence.  It almost meant mine totally.  When my mom passed, I lost the only person in this world who I knew loved all of me just as I was, and embraced me when most others, seemingly rejected me.  In my mind, at the time that she left, there was no reason for me to stick around.  I had to be where she was so that I could be loved and accepted.  Little did I know, that this occurrence was the beginning of the lesson of my life.

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